I live three blocks from Franklin & Marshall College, so this evening I decided to take my camera for a walk through campus. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while, just to see what I could see. I went at around 7 pm, to see if I could take advantage of the so-called "golden hour," that time when the sunlight goes all honeyed and heavy and shadows take on so much more depth and substance. It was a bit overcast, so I didn't get as much sunlight as I would have hoped, but I got a few things I'm happy with. Doesn't he look almost human? I want to go back and spend an entire hour just on this statue, I never realized just how much was going on there until this evening.
Work was long and frustrating, but ultimately productive, and by the time I got home, my resolve to go out with my camera was beginning to flag. I am so glad I did, though, because even though there were only a few shots I was really happy with in the end, I spent a good hour losing myself in looking at things and figuring out how I wanted to try to capture them, and it felt so good. I need to find a way to reconnect with that ability more often.
I need to find a way to reconnect to it with my writing again. I woke up at 5:30 this morning and so easily could have gotten up and sat in front of a notebook or my keyboard for an hour before getting ready for work, but I didn't. Instead I futzed around of Facebook and read an article on the Fast and Furious program, and drifted back off to sleep. Why did I do all of those things instead of writing? I think I did them because I am so worried about what may come up when I sit down to write. I worry that I will be sad or upset and right now I don't feel as though I have anyone to bounce those feelings off of, so I'd rather not let them out to begin with. It's frustrating.
On the positive side, I've written here for eight days running. I know they haven't been the most scintillating posts ever, but it's been a long time since I've written on consecutive days, let alone blogged, so I'll take it. I'm hoping that I'm just rusty and that as the month (and hopefully beyond) goes on, I'll begin to be more coherent and substantive in what ends up here. So, bear with me, if you can.
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