Today is 30 days until I turn 42. Every year as my birthday gets close, I get reflective. I think of where I am, versus where I'd like to be, or possibly where I thought I'd be. This year, I keep thinking of Douglas Adams, of course. In the Hitchhiker's Guide series, it was revealed that the answer to "life, the universe, and everything" is 42. Since I am a huge nerd, this is how I think of this birthday.
I wish all those things would, in fact, be revealed when I hit the magic number, but I have my doubts. I'm not doing the necessary work to have them revealed. I am in neutral and have been for the last year -- if I'm being really honest, most of the last decade -- and am having a bit of trouble getting myself back in gear.
I'd like this next year to be one that sees me finding out how to figure my way back into my life. I'd like this next 30 days to be a time to do some thinking here about what that means. About what I need to do to move forward again. I have the whisper of a plan about that, but still only a whisper, and I'm not very good at holding myself to these time-period challenges anymore, but I'll see what I can do.
This look at myself and my life in the month leading up to my next birthday can only be a good thing if I can make it happen. At the same time, I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it if it doesn't. This first post will be a short one, because I am incredibly exhausted and need to close my eyes. The fact that I managed to even set myself to this first task tonight surprised me, so I'm pretending that I am off to a good start.
With any luck, I'll talk to you tomorrow. About what? Your guess is as good as mine.