A friend was showing Pee-Wee's Big Adventure tonight as the offering for a movie night she runs at a local cafe. I went, even though I'd already dozed off once or twice after work, because I wanted to be able to laugh out loud at something with other people (not to mention that I'd promised her I'd come). It is still funny, there are a few gags in it that I really love, but mostly what it ended up doing was remind me just how stuck I am feeling lately.
My family is planning this big trip just under a year from now, and that'll be sure to be an adventure, but in the meantime, I'll be hoarding my vacation time. I could take off and go on weekends, but I almost never do, because I'm usually so exhausted by the time they roll around that all I want to do is rest up and recuperate from my work week. I need to change this.
A few weeks ago I went to a writing retreat in the mountains a couple of hours from home, I guess that could be considered a small adventure. It got me out of town and away from most of the people I know and into an unfamiliar environment and experience. Things like that need to happen more often.
I think part of what is holding me back is that I'm getting tired of doing things by myself, but I don't really quite know how to go about asking people to go on mini-adventures with me. It sounds sort of silly at my age, doesn't it?
I need to get out of this rut. I need to change things up. Get out of my house, get out of my town, get out of my routine. If anything is going to change, I have to figure out how to make it change. I can't keep thinking about things I want to do without putting any action behind those thoughts.
Of course, I say the same thing over and over and I still can't figure out what it's going to take to make me step out and do something different enough to wake me up and energize me. Maybe this time I'll figure it out.